Last night, I was sucked into a vortex of feeling judgment about myself.
We went to a play about S&M (wasn’t as spicy as it sounds). I was swept up in feeling chunky because of the lovely actress who was sporting fishnet tights on her tiny rounded butt.
Ever felt your butt getting fatter? Yes?
Yeah… well, me too.
I sat watching her and thinking of the days when I had a lovely butt. Would my ass ever be perky again? Not unless surgery can really do miracles.
Later, when we went for a beer after the play, my friends kept describing all of their training regimes. Crossfit popped up several times.
In fact, the other three girls were all going the next morning to lift some iron.
What would I be lifting? My three fat pugs.
The thought caused me to feel pretty bad. After all, here I am teaching Law of Attraction, and I’m judging myself.
Then I recalled Mike Dooley’s constant admonition — “Thoughts Become Things!”
So what if your beliefs don’t harmonize with your thoughts? Which one wins? Which is more deeply held?
Yeah… you’ve probably already caught on.
I was recently speaking to a friend of mine who is having relationship problems. This wasn’t the first time. She was one of my Infinite Possibility students and she is just learning.
She asked me to send her “positive thoughts.”
The thing is, our thoughts of positivity can’t control other people?
Of course, if I had a magic wand, I would surely wave it and help my friend deal with her rampant thoughts.
We went through a list of all the reasons she was grateful for her boyfriend. Bathing their romance in thoughts of gratitude and visions for the future worked for a little while. Yet, time and again, she was back to the fighting about the same thing.
Eventually, though, I realized we were focused on her thoughts. So her beliefs hadn’t changed.
You see, at the heart of our thoughts are the beliefs we hold. My friend had a deeply seated belief that she wasn’t good enough for him. Or that he will leave her. Or that he will find someone better. Or that she will be hurt.
Beliefs are like wriggling little worms digging through the dirt of our thoughts. They insidiously writhe and pulse, reminding us of our feelings of fear. Until we can deworm our beliefs (or encourage new ones to take their place), they keep raising their heads no matter how lovely our thoughts.
I felt this wave of excitement when I had the “aha” moment! Now she could fix it – just like I can fix my beliefs about my body, right?
Not so easy.
You see, the Law of Attraction doesn’t stop working. Ever.
As we bring these fears with us, we get opportunities to feel them again… and again… and again. It’s like an intricate energetic web.
So if you keep judging yourself, you will keep getting opportunities to be judged.
Don’t believe me? Try this out for me today:
Be really kind and loving to people today. Tell people you love them. Give compliments. Be sweet and think good thoughts.
You may already know this, but how do you feel? You feel good, right? You feel love. You feel appreciated.
I use this tactic whenever I begin to feel bad; I turn the feeling around by giving love. The Big U works every time. You will always get back what you send out.
But here’s the kicker: IT DOESN’T JUST WORK FOR THE GOOD THINGS.
Thanks to my friend’s bad romance (Lady Gaga just played in my head), this point was brought home. Dig for those beliefs that are holding you back.
What are you thinking about yourself? Are you judging yourself harshly by the airbrushed photos you see all over the media? Are you judging yourself by memories of a past, “better” body?
Are you harboring self-hate even as you look in the mirror dutifully saying, “I love you” to improve your feelings about yourself? Are you saying it as you secretly think, “God, look at those crow’s feet”?
The fact is, we CAN change our beliefs. It merely takes more conscious thought. If you’ve held beliefs for your entire life, you may have to work through them a little longer. So just keep going.